Thursday, October 27, 2011

what do you do all day, anyway?

I will be blogging some thoughts on this when I ...ahem...have some time to type two-handed! But does anyone else have an initial thought or reaction?

OK, so here are my thoughts.

What do I do all day? I wake up at 7 am and literally DO.NOT.STOP. until Audrey lies down at 9:30 pm for her first stretch of sleep. And when I say that I "wake up" at 7 am, what I really mean is that I have periods of 1-4 hours of sleep throughout the night and usually am able to sleep from 5 am to 7 am, but only as long as Audrey is lying on my chest. Which means that I am sitting up in bed, with a baby attached to me. I don't even get to lie down when I am in my own bed!

I have at least one baby attached to me at all times. Either hanging on my leg (Juliet), sucking on my boob (Audrey), worn in a carrier, and so on. It's not an exaggeration to say that I literally am not able to go to the bathroom by myself; I have lost all shred of privacy or alone time. And while this is happening, I am trying to not just survive the day, but create healthy, happy human beings and a loving, hopefully somewhat clean, joyful home.

Being a stay-at-home mom is hard work. It's just a different kind of work than working in an office, which can also be hard. And there are, no doubt, many perks that working women don't have.  Today I got to go to the park with the girls to ride down the slides, went shopping for some clothes for our annual holiday photo, and went to the pumpkin patch with Gary so Juliet could pet the goats. It is a joy and a privilege to be able to be a mommy to my girls, and stay home with them during these formative years.  I am grateful that I have a husband who supports this model for our family because these moments are truly priceless to me.  My life is awesome! I am happy to be living in this chaos.

I think the problem is that women in general are so damn hell bent on tearing each other down. It's always a competition between us- who is working harder? who has it worse? who deserves the most pity? who's not doing it "right"?. Enough already!  It's all just got to stop.

And for the record, I do have time for emails to friends.  And texts as well. And Facebook too. (Thank you, Steve Jobs, for the iPhone! It's a nursing mother's best friend!) Because my friendships are important to me, no matter how chaotic my daily life has become. But please be forewarned that if you try to call me on the phone and have a real conversation lasting more than a minute, the background noise will usually sound like this: "Waaaaahhh!! (Audrey)  Mama, mama, mamamamama! " (Juliet)

Edit: The chaos really picked up after Audrey was born. I think that having just one baby is hard when they are newborns but settles down tremendously as they get older- routines get established, sleep gets settled, and it begins to feel "easy". It will be interesting to see how things change as my children grow older. This is just a crazy phase for us that I know will soon settle.

1 comment:

  1. Jen-- I can absolutely relate to your post.. and I don't have a newborn! But, throw in my 7 & 5 year olds screaming, fighting, etc.. All my friends comment to me how we can't have phone conversation without getting interrupted! (and I like to joke that the level of noise= the importance of the phone call.. the more important the call, the higher the screaming!)

    I think you are doing an EXCELLENT job with your girls! I know it can be frustrating at times, but it does get easier, I promise!! Someday soon, we will be longing for the noise and the kids "needing" us! Be proud that your days are filled with playing, nuturing, and loving! :)