Monday, October 31, 2011

3 month reflection of grief

It's been 3 months and I miss you more than ever, mom.  We had a pumpkin carving party at our house yesterday.  You were here for it last year, dressed in a silly long wig and carrying Juliet around the house so proudly in her little bumblebee outfit.  We all had a great family day yesterday, but it will never be the same without you.

This is a picture I took of Grandma holding Audrey. Grandma cried when she saw pictures of you hanging everywhere- she wears her hurt and pain more outwardly than the rest of us. There is a large picture of you hanging above her- it's from your memorial service. I like walking by it and looking at your beautiful, strong hands as I live my everyday moments. I just wish you were more than a picture on the wall. I grieve for you so deeply, every single day.


  1. Hope you don't mind... found your blog through Baby Center :) I have a 17-month old daughter and have also lost my Mom and my mother-in-law in the last 4 years... no Grandma's for my baby :(

    Just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you now that I have found you and let you know that the pain does not go away but it does get easier with time. It is amazing how much pain relief our little one brings and the blessing that God gave to us after a long time spent in the valley of suffering and grief. I also have a large portrait of my Mom (actually hand drawn by my mother-in-law 6 months before she also passed away). I still open up boxes of her clothes just to smell her smell. :) God is good no matter what and His purpose will be fulfilled in our sorrow.

    Your little ones are adorable and I hope you don't mind me stopping by and saying hi :)