Wednesday, August 15, 2012

My birthday baby

Dear Audrey,

You are turning 1 year old in just a couple days. It is so bittersweet for a mama to watch her child grow. You are growing into such a lovely and beautiful little girl. You are walking now on very steady feet- your first steps came about 1 month ago. No more crawling for you! You want to be in on all the action and never want to miss a moment with Juliet, Daddy, and doggie. It was good motivation to learn to walk!

You are a happy, content child, and have been since birth. You smile big and brightly and show off your cute little teeth- 2 on top and 2 on bottom. Teething can be a little hard on occasion but you're otherwise an easygoing little girl. You've started to enjoy playing with balls and blocks and putting on sparkly necklaces- just like big sister. You also love to play with Ellie, who is endlessly patient with the tugs and pulls.

You are still nursing a few times a day and I am enjoying that special bond we share in the dim light of your nursery. I am eager for you to start sleeping through the night since mama is tired! I started letting you cry in the middle of the night just a few days ago. I'm sorry for the rude birthday present. I know you won't hold it against me and that I'll be a better mama for you when we both are sleeping a longer stretch at night. I love you and it's so painful to make decisions like this when I just want to cuddle you and nuzzle you until I hear the deep, slow sounds of  your sleep again. I never want you to hurt, never want you to feel alone.

You enjoy cuddling during the day and being "worn" in a wrap or carrier still, but you also make it clear when you want down to explore on your own. You have a wonderful streak of curiosity and independence that I love to sit back and watch. It is such a privilege to be your mother, to spend this first year with you, and look forward to all that is to come.

You entered this world last year in a time that was full of grief and sadness for your grandma's passing. I can't imagine a better soul being sent to us from heaven to help me heal. You are my light and my joy, and I love you- forever and ever.


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