Dear Internet strangers--

Quit bitching about your mom. So she folds your laundry the wrong way? She doesn't hold your kid exactly the same as you do? She accidentally trimmed your bush too far back in your front yard?

Well boo hoo.

My mom is dead, so shut the fuck up and be grateful that your mom is alive and loves you and wants to help you with your newborn baby and be part of your family.

-Me

Double chin.

Mommy n Me makeup!

Juliet's reward for good behavior was being allowed to put lipstick on myself and her. She has always been such a girl!!

Sunday morning

9 weeks 3 days...

Clothing for little boys seems to fall into 2 categories: "Sports Star" and "Preppy old guy".

This is Finn's "old man" look. Ain't he handsome!

Stats: 11 lbs 2 oz (45th %), 22 inches. Sleeping in bed with me, bedtime around 8:30 and waking at 1 am and 4 am to nurse. He nurses great and is very content as long as I'm wearing him, which is most of the day. He feels like the easiest of my babies but it may be that I've just finally figured out what the heck I'm doing!

Bath time

Sitting in the bathroom watching my kids play together with glee. Joyful laughter and play for over 30 minutes. I am so glad they have each other. They truly are best friends and it is such a joy for this mom to see.

Fun with felt

Art project of the day. Juliet picked the purple felt for he crown. Purple has been her favorite color for several months now. She glued on the circles herself and wore the crown for hours afterward. Big success, especially compared with many less successful projects I try!

Audrey, 19 months

Audrey has developed some specific fears this month. It is so interesting to watch how her little kind works.

She is very afraid of two things:
Windshield wipers, and shadows.

She freaks the freak out when she sees both. (The shadows are seen when she's lying in her changing table and my or Gary's shadow reflects on the wall above).

The great thing is that she is very verbal for her age, so she can communicate, "mommy I'm scared!!". It is actually quite sweet and I wonder how long these fears will last. I tried showing her a "bunny shadow" on the wall with my hand, and now she's also afraid of bunnies...oops!

This photo is just added for more comical measure. Jenna's husband was doing a "smile everybody! Say cheese!", and this was the face she gave! Ha!

Grief

I visited mom's grave today. It sucked. I'm still not ready. It still feels so unfair and hurts so much.

I want to remember...

The sweet days of their childhood when a Saturday walk around the block would take an hour or more. We stop to climb every wall and pick every flower. We watch the birds in one tree for several minutes and imitate their chirping. Juliet wants to know the name of every tree as she and Audrey climb on their strong big roots.

Juliet asks me earnestly, "where did the grass come from? Who made it?" And Audrey tries to peek her head into the sewage drain when I tell her that the water goes all the way to the ocean, exclaiming, "ocean! Where are you?!"

Finn sleeps on me with contentment in his sling. I am tired, oh so very tired. But these are the sweet days that I will hold in my heart forever.

Losing the baby weight

I went back to Stroller Strides last week at 6 weeks post partum. (That's me in the way back, doing squats with Finn in the Ergo). It feels good to exercise again without feeling like I'm walking around with a bowling ball in my crotch.

I tried on some pre-pregnancy jeans today and they wouldn't go up past my knees. I probably shouldn't have done that- it was only discouraging! One nice thing about having our family complete at 3 babies is never having to lose this dang pregnancy weight again. I lost it pretty easily the last 2 times mainly by breastfeeding it away, but it still is daunting! Especially since my tummy just keeps getting stretched out more each time and the skin doesn't look like it used to! My babies are worth a million times over, but I'm getting rather tired of wearing these maternity clothes!

Nothing like running around like a chicken with my head cut off to get juliet to school on time, only to discover its closed for spring break! Whoops!

This is my life.

Juliet's new chore is to set the table every night for dinner. Finn took an extra long nap this afternoon and I relished the time to focus on cooking a nice meal and helping Juliet (and Audrey- but she's still a bit young) learn her new role in our family. She loves helping me!